Six Ways Beethoven’s Mother is Messaging You
Week 32 in one pianist's journey to perform the 32 piano sonatas of Beethoven.
Maria Magdalena Beethoven
On May 12, 1764
Honestly my father-in-law though. So he’s been heard shouting at Johann about the fact that Johann and I got married, “I would never have thought that of you, never expected you would stoop so low!” ACTUALLY, my family had more money than his. But I won’t write more. I am going to keep shut. We will have to live with this man. I know, it’s not perfect and I’ll have to move to a new city. But since my dear first husband and my first baby have both died, I may as well move from these memories that haunt me. Johann loves me. And he’s hot, I mean, he’s a good singer. He drinks too much… but how bad can that be? Okay, his father has a violent temper. I guess Johann’s mum is even more drunk than Johann half the time because she has to be married to that man. But I mean everyone drinks sometimes, right? They might drink in that family, but I won’t have to drink. I love Johann. I want kids, and surely I would never find a better future at my age. I will strong and stay sober. Quiet can be strong.
On May 12, 1770
Past the first trimester and I think I can tell you: I am pregnant again! The old father-in-law was so disappointed when my first dear baby of this marriage who we named after him, little Ludwig, was taken to Heaven by the Angels. I must have courage. Just because I lost two sweet souls does not mean I will lose this one. May it be a son. We could again name him Ludwig. May he impress the family with musical gifts. I will not drink, I will keep myself healthy. Pregnancy can be strong. Courage can be patient.
On May 12, 1777
Breathe. Breathe. I must be patient for my little Ludwig. He is so gifted. Ever since my father-in-law died, Johann has been so frustrated with trying to teach him music, piano, violin, whatever would make him useful. Of course Johann wants to him to take after the Beethoven side and become a court musician. Johann is a good man, he wants the best for Ludwig. It’s just he gets so drunk and then I am not physically strong enough to intervene. But to you, I can confide that sometimes Ludwig doesn’t take after the Beethoven’s completely. His spirit reminds me of how my own dear father would invent new recipes, go for long walks to forage for new ingredients, in his job as a court cook. I see that in Ludwig, in how he loves gardens and nature. And he wants to invent! Ludwig is practising violin right now and I just heard Johann screaming, “What stupid stuff are you scratching at now?” So my boy – my sweet boy! – calmly plays it again, a phrase he invented himself, and says, “But isn’t this beautiful?” Johann told him it’s not allowed to make up his own music. But here’s the thing – Johann is too much of a partier to enforce it. I can just quietly make sure Ludwig gets time to really PLAY at the keyboard while his dad is out. I can be like water in this family. There were so many floods I lived through growing up. Water seems calm, but it is powerful. Look at how water put out the big fire in town in January. Yes, we had to move, after the fire damage to the neighbourhood, but that is how life must flow. One must be like water, adjust and be mobile. Ludwig can be like me, like water. He must do the best he can with his dad, there’s so much he can learn. The flowing movement of water can overcome great obstacles.
On May 12, 1780.
My Name Day was amazing!! This is when it is so wonderful to have married a musician. All Johann’s friends showed up to play for me, they even built an arbour decorated with flowers. They brought so much food, and danced the night away. Of course there was too much wine, and a lot of cleanup the next day. But so much celebration! All the fighting disappears when people come together for such beautiful music. It’s then that I love my family, my community, and music so much. Life can be Joy!
On May 12, 1779
I am still in deep grief. Yes… I bore a daughter!!!!! I had my daughter for four days of life. She left me for Heaven and it is too much to bear. But my dear son Ludwig and his two little brothers are still with me. Ludwig…Carl…Johann. I will live on for them. And when my family plays and sings like the Angels, my heart responds. I am their listener. I hear them. I know that my place is with them. But without my daughter, how can I be in this world? One day, we will be together in Heaven. For now, daily, I must come back to what I believe, the expression I have always taught my sons: “Without suffering there is no struggle, without struggle no victory, without victory no crown.”
On May 12, 1787
I miss Ludwig so much. Yet I am glad he has left for Vienna. His drunken father has been too much for my over-responsible oldest boy. At age seventeen, he should be galloping towards the big city like he is now, to his grownup future. He is so excited about making his music in the city of Mozart and Haydn! Privately, I pray that he finds older women mentors there to look after him. I know how much he has needed me. Just like he so often said, I was his best friend. But I am so tired now. This coughing will soon mean the end of my life. Thank God for the lovely widow Hélène von Breuning. She saw me and noticed my coughing, a few years back. She knew that Beethoven would need the help of someone like her, who could teach him how to thrive in a wealthy civilized home. He will need those skills in Vienna. What would I ever do without my fellow mothers in this world! Hélène gets me. As for my husband Johann, I can’t live with him, can’t live without him. I’ve learned to laugh. People think I’m clever with my quiet comebacks sometimes, well, I’ve learned the hard way. I keep my family together. But when I think of my sons having to witness Johann flirting with young Cäcilie in the apartment downstairs! It’s a good thing she can hold her own. Now she wants to marry that teenaged violinist Franz. I feel for Cäcilie – she is charming. If she wasn’t so young, she could see in my life what the wife of a musician has to live through. I told her, “If you want my good advice, stay single. Then you’ll have the best, most peaceful, most beautiful, most enjoyable life you can have. Because what is marriage but a little joy, then afterward a chain of sorrows.” She doesn’t listen to me. She’s young! But Ludwig, I think he did see me. He did listen to me, and he feels everything deeply. Of course, his solution is to try to be oldest brother to the whole world, bring people together through music and get them to behave, the way he does with his younger brothers. He is so motivated and passionate about it! He sees how I have suffered with Johann. He wants to be noble and honourable to women in his own life, and find a wife he can care for as he cared for me. But I see this and think, how will he find a woman who is able to support all of his high ideals? And he is so messy! So grubby, and already he is drinking too much like his father. I think that only older women mentors will understand him. The young ones will tear at his heart. I will be with the Angels soon. He will always have his music, his Nature, and maybe he will hear me in them. Maybe, once he finds he cannot change the world, he will turn his mind and heart to inventing music that will help others to endure it, as he has help me endure. May his listeners hear the inward tenderness, the innermost expression, the jokes, the responsibility for fellow humans, and in the end, how what remains is joy.
